The Gaffe.

It is patent to the human mind that
Must ostracize with all those around it
In all its’ pomp and pride for it is he, the man;
An empty vessel that negates its creation by the divine.
The adamant concealed wire which lies to gain the
Supreme and live in eternity, yet not evolve
And blame his defeat for the broken figurines,
Another deserted in the numbness of eternity.
Eternal is not the flowing brook but the inadequacy
Of humane which man has staked with his identity,
The silence of his value noises out the chaos he reigns,
Even the distant belief shudders upon a look of
The human he has created. Even the gods fail.
Man envies man and takes pride in his vain,
In the ordeal of attaining authority,
Peace and compassion is what he taints.
The beliefs are what they are scared of,
Their greed is what paves their way to
The judgment of ordeal, which they shall miserably fail.
And it is a shame that a kind cannot sought other
But oughts’ to decapitate and shame
While drowning in the shallow plane of his existence;
I belong to the patch of race I am not proud to partake,
I am the gaffe, deserted in the numbness of eternity.

The last straw.

In the light of these technicolor tints,
I have lost time letting you scalpel the hues on me.
And there are layers
Below this mess
I am yet to discover,
Breaking one at a time,
As your pique shows through your words.
But
The shards make me wonder,
Who are you to rebuke the
‘sin’ when your own words were in disguise?

The hard stuff.

It was just not that one moment, but each moment that makes me realize that it has not quite dawned on me. I just open myself up and the truth, the memories come gushing out of the wounds. The same scars we bonded over, for we had them at the right shattered place, now seem to hideaway because maybe I’ve made them suffer for far too long. I think about it. I think about all of it right from when I see the sunlight till the point where I let the stars stare at me till I’m asleep. Some days I just keep wishing on them. Everyone wishes for the skies to be blue and as for me I didn’t ask for anything as such because I wanted the hard stuff, something that is real to the core and standing by your side even during storm would’ve been a pleasure for love is finding the calm withing the chaos. But I still want to tear that space down, devoured by the spiraling effect of all of it – angel, demon, it’s all I can see in myself but that space had all of us, how can I let that happen? So I curse the hell out of my feelings but let them overpower me at the same. I Get on my knees and try to soul search what is left of us so I can hide it somewhere remote yet withing myself, safe & sound. Down the line it taught me what it really feels like to be overpowered by this endless void, by you, which doesn’t leave until my vision flashes red and my skull crashes like a locomotive.

Ache.

I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again. For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate.

                                                                                                     – Albert Camus (The Stranger)

I traveled.
Far down the highway,
a fork in the road,
I tamed the wild-flies within
just so they don’t get me,
not any more.
The world was looking for covers,
I ran with the skies,
they frowned upon me and said,
“we really wonder why.”
I held torch to the stars,
they held torch to my faith,
but hate is not vain,
so I let it fire my ache.
I sat in stillness,
heard the thunder sing a song,
the moon called out from behind,
like a lone wolf calling out for home.
;
I traveled.
Far down the highway,
a fork in the road,
I ran straight through it,
just so they don’t get me,
not any more.

Crash and Burn.

The space we had,
had a language unknown,
not of twenty-six letters,
but of feelings and things more.
We filled not pages,
but scribbled in the sky,
forget about the moon,
be damned the sunlight.
Things known to us,
did help us explore,
we lived in poems and prose,
“No wonder we can’t tell,
how long we’ve been living this for.”
Ourselves we poured into each other,
the stars did seem so blur,
the only thing we noticed,
was the fire within us.
We traced along the time,
and the world did stay,
but only for a standstill,
I reckon, we let it fade away.
Things started dropping,
they slipped out of our hands,
it was hard to trust it all,
but all I could see was,
our memories
you
me
us
everything
crashed and burned.

Downtown.

My eyes blinking past cold wind
and they may think I’m holding back my tears, but no,
my dear,
I have decided not to shed a tear for you.
And we will meet again somewhere,
with our breaths holden aback,
where some forbidden voice may
Seek some kind of contact.
But then shall come the night,
when the moon will be an eclipse,
Alas! For sure,
Even the night won’t be able to hold us,
Together, for a while.
You drove your cold emotions through our sober nights;
The tilt of your head defining the solitude.
Your words,
And my memory of them,
Turn meaningless, unreal now.

Memory lane.

Next time you meet her,
will you tell her,
that as the sun dies,
she still pins my heart down.
Or that
her image still flashes before my eyes,
with her voice echoing, still with me,
and her beautiful flaws, altered in my soul.
Or that
her words have made home in my skin,
making me a wonder, of hers,
with her stories crawling out of my eyes.
Or that
her eyes still make me feel at ease,
under the light of the sun,
and our memories, moonlit yet faded,
and above all.
How she has rooted herself so deep in me,
that nothing gets me more than the pain it gives.
I’m stuck.

Autumn.

It was all layered up,
like earth wearing its seasons on its sleeves,
switching down swiftly.
It all bloomed in spring,
when the colors 
blinded us bright,
and the flowers
had undressed themselves,
for bathing in sunlight.
Then came summer,
when it was all new,
everything adventurous and everything,
out of the blues.
“Pray, everything has to end.”
“But not everything.”
they had said,
And as time switched over,
autumn,
took over.
The trees shed down their leaves,
branches bent down in sorrow,
bright, naked petals started wilting,
commanding an order.
An order of dismissal,
of the flies leaving them,
since then,
every morning,
my world comes to an end.

Her.

I said I was a writer
and oh my words, they’re heavy
Like a book I read or a soul I lived
I learned not everyone was my poetry.
Then I saw you glance over the dark
trying not to miss a star,
for you mumbled to yourself until,
eternity lost its scars.
I had wished to live forever
and now you were my chance,
to live or lose up on everything
and make for us some plans.
My life made of puzzle pieces,
still you fathomed out my mind
It seemed as if you were my life,
spelled out on every line.
Our favorite songs, the same,
still some things never look clichéd.
You walked straight into my soul,
caught the moonlight within me,
I saw you capture the moments within
then you let some blues get off me.
I fancied to see the universe within you,
felt honored to be a part of  it
I saw those stars hide behind those eyes,
and a universe within them too.
You might wonder how it happened to me,
but I guess it makes sense,
remember the night the moon fell from the sky?
When everyone was running through?
Three words got caught in my throat,
and I was looking at you.

The truth.

The moon dropped down the creek
As the night passed by,
But there’s still so much darkness outside
In those lush woods of your mind.
Your mind’s so full,
No one can pass by,
Only misery seeks to enter
As it settles down in your mind.
Darkness drips down your bloodline,
A wave of shivers sent to your spine,
The silence to your ears, scares you more in the dead of night.
And you walk past the ghosts you see, they haunt you down to life,
You feel beneath your feet, a bed of flowery lies,
For you know yourself anew as your stars start to align.
Then comes the sun as it freezes over your world,
It steals the stars and replaces the moon,
While the rays warm your heart,
Gently singing a lullaby,
And the universe comes together to sing you a song,
And you stop for awhile, close your eyes,
And sleep in the woods, woods of your mind.